Superman, the indestructible symbol of freedom, has put up with a lot of crap in the movies. Over the years there have been bad Superman movies. But, over the years, there have been good Superman movie. Singular. And that one was The original, Superman (1978).
(photo by www.movierulz.to)
But it isn’t even good anymore. It’s super clunky and dated and pretty damn stupid when you watch it comparatively to today’s films. In most recent superhero films, they try hard to make the superhero stories very realistic, such as the second Captain America movie about an underground terrorist organization trying to destroy the government from the inside. While not likely, it was presented in a realistic and close-to-home fear that is ever present in today’s society. Superman, on the on the other hand, turns back time so he can eventually bone his co-worker. How does he turn back time, you ask? Not with a time machine. Not by going through a wormhole or something else. He spins around the earth in the opposite direction to turn back time. I mean for FUCK’S SAKE.
(photo by undianormal.livejournal.com)
I know I’ve ranted about this before, but it still perplexes me. And every other Superman movie is bad too, as they’re all trying to mimic something else. Man of Steel was depressing, unnecessarily destructive, and an unfitting tone in comparison to the other Superman films. Even Superman Returns wasn’t so out of place. You could tell they’re trying as hard as they can to stay in competition with Marvel’s far more successful film franchise. I mean, why does DC have to try that hard? You’re not going to win, why try? And besides, you’re beating marvel in comics, cartoons, action figures, and you’ve been around longer than them. You’re the OG and you’re getting your ass kicked by the new kid on the block.
(Photo by comicsalliance.com)
Superman’s ultimate weakness isn’t kryptonite: it’s originality. As I said earlier, it tries to mimic what people want, rather than figuring it out for themselves. The reason everyone loved the OG Superman is because it was fresh, new, and unlike anything anyone had seen before. The new Superman movie, Man of Steel, is just copying the grittiness of the Christopher Nolan Dark Knight trilogy, but the reason people like it is because it was a fresh, new take on the Batman series (and it wasn’t a piece of shit either). Superman is the original badass. He was the first relevant superhero. He kicked ass. He was original. That’s why people liked him. That’s why they liked the first movie. And that’s why every other Superman movie has sucked.
Maybe, someday soon, Superman will pull his head out of his ass and make something fruitful and original. Hell, i’d be ok with him spinning the world around to turn back time to bone his co-worker if it meant an original concept and execution. All I can say is, I hope the new Superman VS Batman movie isn’t shitty.